Sneakers Cause Theft 

It's hard to look at the crime statistics in Milwaukee and not come to one undeniable conclusion. Sneakers, and other forms of running shoes, are causing serious crime. Every day robberies occur in this city that are caused by the easy access to comfortable footwear which is then used to swiftly escape the scene of numerous crimes. Countless times each day, purse snatchers are able to outrun their victims and police because they owned a dangerous pair of running shoes. Only when we control the outrageous sneaker proliferation problem in this city will crime finally being to come down.

Is this a stupid idea? Well... it's no more stupid than some of the ideas the Journal's editorial board likes to spout.