New State Law Proposed 

Sen. Carol Roessler is proposing a new law for the State of Wisconsin modeled after the recently passed Booster Seat legislation. After a new study came out showing that men who are overweight by 15 pounds are much less likely to suffer serious injuries in crashes, Sen. Roessler has proposed a law requiring all male car passengers to be overweight. When asked about the law, the good Senator responded:

This isn't about passenger choice, or personal freedom. This is about passenger safety plain and simple. If you can't look at the statistics and see that carrying around some extra weight will save your life in a car crash, then it's our job as legislators to make you understand.

The law will give people 6 months to comply with the new regulation. Recently however, some questions as to the motivation behind the bill have been raised, when it was discovered that Sen. Roessler received campaign contributions from McDonald's. When asked about it, the Senator responded:

Eating unhealthy food isn't the only way to comply with the law. Those men who have not gained sufficient weight in 6 months will have the opportunity to purchase a padded suit which will simulate 15 pounds of excess body fat.

The National Organization of Underweight Americans has come out in protest of this bill, saying that skinny people are being unfairly targeted, and that this will lead to weight profiling. Sen. Roessler has spoken with local police departments in an effort to make sure that this will not happen, saying:

Law enforcement organizations around the state will use this as an opportunity to educate men about their weight. People found in violation of this law will receive a warning for the first offense, along with a gift card to McDonald's.

Sen. Roessler is also looking into expanding the current booster seat legislation to cover the so called "Midget Loophole":

When drafting this bill, we completely forgot about a segment of the population that is just as much at risk as toddlers. Many of Wisconsin's smallest are not protected by this law, and we're working to remove the age limits imposed so that "little people" will be safe as well. Because of their small stature, they are often a forgotten group in our state, but I promise that I have not forgotten about them.

Personally, I feel much better now.