Permit Me Please 

The Agitator has a link to a story about the City of New York's proposal to require bicycle licensing:

If passed, Int. No. 497 would require every bicycling New Yorker over sixteen years old to obtain bicycle license tags from the NYC Department of Transportation. The bill stipulates that those who do not display such tags on their bicycles would be subject to up to 15 days imprisonment in addition to hefty fines and bicycle confiscation.

Stuff like this makes me wonder at what point in time we will be required to be licensed to breathe the air. Being an aspiring triathlete, and thus an avid biker, I wondered whether such a law existed in my area. A quick Google search revealed the following for the City of Milwaukee:

Registration is required per Section 102 2 of the Milwaukee Code of Ordinances which states:

"102 2. License Required. It shall be unlawful for any resident of the city to operate or use a bicycle, operated alone or in part by muscular power, upon any of the streets, alleys or public highways of the city without first obtaining from the city a license therefor, and unless said bicycle is properly registered and a license sticker is affixed to the frame of such bicycle."

Registration also provides for bicycle identification, theft deterrence, identification of riders, and ability to return recovered stolen bikes to the registered owners.

What is not listed in their little FAQ is what the penalty is for failure to license. Notice how the recovery of stolen bikes and bike identification are listed as secondary concerns. What is the primary concern requiring the ordinance? It can't be the collection of fees. Bike registration in Milwaukee is free. So then I went out to the City of Wauwatosa home page to see if there was something there. Luckily there is no ordinance in Wauwatosa (where I live), though there is a voluntary program whose stated goal is to make it easier to retrieve stolen bicycles and return them to their rightful owner. But while searching through the Wauwatosa site, I did find some interesting things in their "Miscellaneous Licenses Issued by the City Clerk" section.

Soda Water License: Sale of bottled soda water beverages in original containers to be consumed on or off the premises where sold.
Permit Cost: $5

Secondhand Dealer Mall License: Fixed location where two or more secondhand dealers operate their business. (I'm assuming this doesn't cover garage sales)
Permit Cost: $165

Let's not forget the Pinball Machine license ($25 per machine) and the Pool Table license ($17 per table). Neither one specifies whether they apply to machines in public places which collect money to play, or whether they apply to machines in a private home as well. Then there is this interesting piece from the section on Dog & Cat licensing:

The maximum number of both dogs and cats over the age of 3 months kept on any one property or dwelling unit, shall be limited to a total of 3 and not more than 2 of either species may be females.

No more than two may be females? Huh?

Update: Here is another strange license required by the City of Wauwatosa.

Massage Establishment License:
Place of business wherein private massage is practiced, used, or made available.
Permit Cost: $150

Wait. A place of business wherein private massage is practiced? Isn't a place of business by definition public? So how could private massage be practiced there? Does private means that it happens behind closed doors? So if the parlor had a window to the sidewalk where people could watch you be massaged, the license would not apply? This is of course above and beyond the Massage Technician License required.