This is Hillarious
points to this profile in the London Times
of a lipstick lesbian muslim (how is that for a combo?) that is confronting radical Islam:
Irshad Manji has already been dubbed "Osama's worst nightmare" for her criticisms of Islam. Now she wants Britain's Muslims to stand more firmly on the side of freedom.
No wonder Irshad Manji has received death threats since appearing on British television: she is a lipstick lesbian, a Muslim and scourge of Islamic leaders, whom she accuses of making excuses about the terror attacks on London. Oh, and she tells ordinary Muslims to "crawl out of their narcissistic shell". Ouch.
Doesn't the violent Muslim minority show Islam is flawed? "I ask myself the same question," she grimaces. Far from regarding Muslims as oppressed they have a "supremacy complex - and that's dangerous". This, she contends, is true even among moderates. "Literalists" who consider the Koran the "perfect manifesto of God" have taken over the mainstream; and far from misreading Islam, as Tony Blair and the Muslim Council of Britain insist, terrorists can find encouragement for murder in the Koran.
The underlying problem with Islam, observes Manji, is that far from spiritualising Arabia, it has been infected with the reactionary prejudices of the Middle East: "Colonialism is not the preserve of people with pink skin. What about Islamic imperialism? Eighty per cent of Muslims live outside the Arab world yet all Muslims must bow to Mecca." Fresh thinking, she contends, is suppressed by ignorant imams; you can see why she has been dubbed "Osama's worst nightmare".
The entire thing is excellent and well worth a read. But here is the hillarious part:
But could religion be an excuse? Might the gang of four have just been nihilist punks who, if raised in different cultures, might otherwise have railed against life through, say, hip-hop? "A hip-hopper will still wake up in the morning. That doesn't explain a willingness to take your own life." To do that you need belief in an afterlife, which means these men must have been devoutly religious. Waiting to be rewarded, I suggest, with their 72 virgins.
But Manji says recent research shows all that virgin stuff was based on an erroneous translation of the Koran: what awaits in heaven are 72 raisins. What? Could 54 people really have been blown up for a bag of raisins? "Well in 7th century Arabia raisins were so exalted as to be promoted to paradise."
I can just imagine the look on the terrorists faces when they get up there (not that they would go to heaven... but just go with me here). Here's what I imagine them saying:
Hold on... raisins?! That's not what I signed up for! I could have gone to a supermarket and gotten more than 72 raisins... in neat little red boxes even! I wanted cherries damnit!