That's Not Torture 

Time has an article exposing the torturous interrogation methods used on the "20th Hijacker" at Gitmo, found through a secret log they've obtained. (H/T to Daily Pundit):

Despite the information gaps, the log offers a rare glimpse into the darker reaches of intelligence gathering, in which teams that specialize in extracting information by almost any means match wits and wills with men who are trained to keep quiet at almost any cost.

Among some of the evil, villainous, and insidious torture methods used were:

• Medical checks up to 3 times per day. (Bastards)


• Standing for long periods of time. (What if his legs cramp?)


• Forcing him to shave his face. (Razor burn is worse than you think).


• Poking in the chest and lightly pushing. (I guess that means I used to torture my sister in the car... "Mom... Nick keeps poking me. Mom... Sarah's looking out my window!")


• Poured bottles of water on his head. (Maybe it was hot in the cell?)


• Playing Christina Aguilera music. (This borders on torture. Requests to play Britney Spears were denied as definitely being against the Geneva Conventions.)


• Having to stand for the U.S. National Anthem. (Which I guess means we're all tortured at baseball games.)


• Had his "space invaded" by a female. (Can I be tortured too?)


• Forced on an IV after becoming dehydrated because he refused to drink.

So where was the torture? This is what we do to someone who was going to help kill thousands on 9/11? Let women invade his space? No beatings? No electroshock? This is what you consider torture? Amnesty International must really have no idea what actually happened in Soviet gulags.