My Health Teacher Lied 

Back in high school at some point, we were probably all required to take "Health" class. You remember that don't you? Well, as part of our class, our teacher had a question box. At the end of class everyone got a piece of paper on which to write down a question anonymously. Then everyone put their paper in the box (whether they wrote something or not), and the next day our teacher answered any questions asked.

To this day I still remember one of the questions asked. "Can you get pregnant for oral sex?" Our teacher could not keep herself from laughing and said, "Apparently you weren't paying attention in class if you have to ask that question. Of course you can't get pregnant that way." Well... she lied (emphasis mine):

An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can't claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep.
...
Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a "calculated, profound personal betrayal" after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant.

He said he didn't find out about the child for nearly two years, when Irons filed a paternity lawsuit. DNA tests confirmed Phillips was the father, the court papers state.

Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons' attorney, Enrico Mirabelli.
...
The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims, agreeing with Irons that she didn't steal the sperm.

"She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift - an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee," the decision said. "There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request."

Wow. Yes... this is a real case. Seriously. I'm not kidding. No really! And from a guy's perspective... this is pretty damn scary.

First of all... I can understand how he can't claim theft. After all, if he were to have deposited it elsewhere in her body, would he have claimed the same thing? Of course not. But what kind of woman hides sperm in her mouth til after the guy leaves and then uses it to get pregnant? I know that the age old joke is "Spit or Swallow"... maybe that needs to be changed to "Spit, Swallow or Hold" now. If she doesn't spit, do I need to ask her to open her mouth and raise her tongue? While we're on the subject... I would appreciate any advice from my female readership on the best way to word that request. Just drop a comment or email me. Thanks.

Secondly... if this happened to me, I wouldn't have claimed theft, but I would have challenged the child support ruling. You don't argue theft, or transfer of "property" (and if those judges were able to call sperm "a gift" in court with a straight face... then wow). You argue that he didn't intend to impregnate her. After all, there may not have been an agreement that the sperm be returned on request (although some people are into that)... but you can sure as hell argue that there was no agreement (or intent on his part) to get pregnant either. After all... at that point it's not really a gift for impregnation... it's a meal.

Thanks to Sandi over at Vista On Current Events for emailing me this story. Although, I don't know what to say when a woman I don't know compliments me on my whit and style, and at the same time emails me a story involving oral sex. Hmmm. You can read her take on the matter here. Also, I'm not the only one who got this story via email from someone either.