Vending Machine Oppression 

That's it! The "War on Obesity" in this country has got to stop... and I mean now! You know, I was all fine with sitting in the peanut section before and complaining about this city doing something stupid over there, or some junk science riddled research paper being published here. Not any more! Now it's personal!

It's happened ever so slowly at my client, but the transformation is nearly complete now. It seems like every week, fewer and fewer slots in the vending machine had actual candy in them. One day the Twix went away and was replaced with granola bars. Then the Take Five bars went away only to see dry roasted peanuts take their place (without salt of course). Almond Joy... gone. Mounds... see ya! The vending machines now only has 2 or 3 slots left with something I actually want to have. Listen, I only feel like getting M&M's so many times in a row before I need something else to satisfy my sweet tooth... and who knows when those will disappear along with their simple carbohydrate brethren.

Believe it or not, not everyone who goes to the vending machine for a mid afternoon snack is overweight in need of your nannying. I compete in triathlons for God's sake! If I want a damn candy bar, then who are you to deny it to me?! Believe me, I'll be running off the empty calories in a couple hours while the people who made this brilliant decision will probably be watching TV on their Lazy-Boy.

You see what happens when I start going through sugar withdrawals? I get cranky! You want someone this cranky writing software that you depend on? I didn't think so... so give me back my candy damnit!

Update 9/22/05: The Agitator has linked has most kindly linked to this post. However, he mistakenly says that I represent a vending machine company. I think that's because I often talk about "my client". I'm actually a consultant, and was refering to the vending machines at my current client (as opposed to the consulting company I work for). Neither company I work for are vending machine companies.