Shit Stinks 

The Wisconsin Dept. of Agriculture is considering a new rule that would establish standards for how smelly a farm can be. No... I'm not kidding (emphasis mine):

She and her bovine compatriots are at the center of proposed rules that, among other things, would attempt to quantify just how stinky some farms can get in Wisconsin. It's a growing problem as city folks move out to rural areas and realize they don't like the smell while at the same time dairy farms are consolidating and getting bigger.

"If we could wave a wand and make manure not stink, that would be great," said Bruins, who took over his parents' farm in 1970.
...
The proposed regulations, which the state agriculture board recently voted to send to public hearings in March, would establish state standards for some livestock facilities, specifically focusing on the impact of odor and manure. But determining what smells and what doesn't was a bit of a puzzle. After all, what Bruins might think is the sweet smell of profits might be someone else's stink bomb.
...
In Jefferson County, a scratch-and-sniff card with manure and alfalfa smells is attached to every new home permit. People building homes in the county - where 280,000 of the county's 350,000 acres is agriculture land - are told they are building in an agricultural zone, and they should expect to smell the same odors on the scratch-and-sniff card.

Still, some complain.

"They'll say, 'When we moved out here we didn't expect this,' " said Bruce Haukom, Jefferson County director of planning and zoning since 1981.

You moved next to a big farm with a herd full of cows and you didn't expect a smell? You are from Wisconsin aren't you? That's like moving right next to the airport and not expecting some noise from the jumbo jets flying over! Oh wait... people complain about that too. This sort of thing drives me absolutely insane. How arrogant can you be? How's this for an idea? Don't build your fucking McMansion next to a farm! Or how about driving around with your windows open where you're going to live before building. Smell that? Yeah - thats called fertilizer (basically processed shit). If you don't like that smell, then live in the city like the rest of us who don't like the smell do.

Oh but I can hear it now. "But the land is so much less expensive out here in the country. That way I can build a bigger house for my wife and my one child. You know, we need 15 rooms and a 4 car garage to support our lifestyle." You know why that land is so cheap? Because it's next to a fucking farm you morons!

Wow. I really got pissed at the end there. Huh. Who knew.