Confidence 

Ann Althouse can't stop talking about this op-ed in the NY Times by Moureen Dowd:

A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."

I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.

Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.

Ann of course thinks this is somewhat true, but also talks about those guys who are looking for their intellectual equal. Ms. Dowd as usual makes the mistake of lumping all guys together in one pot, and says that we're all like that... being guilty of a sin that she accuses men of more often than not. But it begs the question. Nick, what kind of woman are you looking for? Someone quiet and dumb who will do your bidding, or someone intelligent who will be your equal?

Put it that way, and I'll say someone intelligent who will be my equal. I want someone who will challenge me, how I think, and how I act. I want someone who is willing to be challenged. Mostly, I want someone who is confident. People rarely talk about confidence when they talk about searching for a mate. They usually talk about status, or intelligence, or beauty. I look for confidence. Someone who is confident stands out in a crowd. They are exude what the French call... I don't know what. They stand a little taller, speak a little more emphatically, have a sex appeal all their own that I look for. Confident women aren't just confident in public either, which is another good attribute. ;)

Sure you can argue that confidence comes from having a nice body, brains or stature... but I don't think so. I've met beautiful, intelligent women who stand in the corner not wanting to be noticed. Confidence is knowing what you want and trying to get it. Being with a confident means that if she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't. If she's there, she wants to be there, because she's confident enough to get out of Dodge if she didn't. In my thinking, someone who goes after that shy, diminutive woman is afraid themselves. They are afraid that a confident woman would see what they were and leave them. If you don't want to be with me, then I sure as hell don't want to be with you. I want a woman who's confident enough to stay when she likes what she has, and bails when she doesn't.

Yes, I look for confidence.... and a nice ass.