Get In My Belly! 

Congratulations to Katie and Tom on the birth of their new daughter, Suri. Not surprisingly, Tom insisted on a "silent birth" as required by Scientology. Exactly how Tom got Katie to agree to this, while she was pushing a baby out of her is beyond me. I can only imagine the choice words that she chose to scream out while Tom was telling her "Quiet honey, you promised to do this quietly. You're just as bad as Brooke." Speaking of which, in a small twist of fate, Brooke Shields gave birth yesterday as well.

Reportedly, Tom was also intending on eating the placenta after it was all done:

The actor, 43 - who wants her to give birth in silence according to his Scientology cult rules - said: "I'm gonna eat the placenta, too."

"I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m going to eat the cord and the placenta right there."

Say it with me everyone... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Anyone else reminded of Fat Bastard saying "Well, listen up, sonny Jim: I ate a baby. Oh, aye, Baby: the other, other white meat. Baby: it's what's for dinner."