Another Blow for Freedom and Personal Safety 

The state Assembly fell two votes short today in an attempt to override Doyle's veto of the Personal Protection Act, which would have allowed concealed carry of hand guns. I'm disappointed, but certainly not surprised.

All Republicans voted for the override; they were joined by Democratic Reps. Barbara Gronemus of Whitehall, Mary Hubler of Rice Lake, Marlin Schneider of Wisconsin Rapids and Amy Sue Vruwink of Milladore.

The Republicans needed 66 votes, or a two-thirds majority, to override the veto.

Democratic Reps. Terry Van Akkeren of Sheboygan and John Steinbrink of Pleasant Prairie were the deciding votes. Both earlier had voted for the bill, but switched and backed Doyle on the override attempt. Rep. Joe Parisi (D-Madison) did not vote.

I'm curious what made those two change their mind, and not back the override. I wonder what Doyle promised them?

Slow News Day 

I don't know why, but today just feels like a slow news day. Alito was confirmed and just sworn in, the President is prepping for the State of the Union address, and yet none of that seems like a big deal. Alito being confirmed isn't nearly as big news-wise as the battle to get him to there, and I have a hard time sitting through a manufactured speech full of dumbed down politics, and presidential promises for things the federal government has no business promising, and no ability to actually follow through on well.

Iran is threatening to halt U.N. inspections, but we already know what they have, what they want to do... so it's not like that is really news worthy either. The media is salivating over another milestone, reporting that the 100th British soldier has died in Iraq. At least they're not partying it up as big as when the 2000th overall was killed. I wonder what the British media is doing with it?

There's a lot going on, yet it still somehow just feels so slow.

Opening Up China Leads to Armageddon 

I find this to be an interesting coincidence. A few days ago I blogged about my old expereinces on my high school debate team, and how everything leads to nuclear war. Now today, Newsweek has an article talking about Evangelical Christian Colleges winning debate tournaments:

When you believe the end of the world is coming, you learn to talk fast. On a Friday afternoon the debate team from Liberty University, Jerry Falwell's fundamentalist Baptist college, is madly rehearsing for the tournament about to begin. This year's topic: should the United States increase diplomatic and economic pressure on China. They may just be practicing, but you wouldn't know it from the menacing mosquito-buzz rising as all 20 debaters read their speeches at once, as fast as they can. Policy debate on the college level has become a rapid-fire verbal assault, an arguments-per-minute game, that sounds more like the guy at the end of the car commercial than an eloquent Oxford intellectual. There is tension and more than a little spittle in the air. The Liberty team is currently ranked No. 1 in the country, above Harvard (14th) and all the other big names. But for the evangelicals, there's a lot more at stake than a trophy. Falwell and the religious right figure that if they can raise a generation that knows how to argue, they can stem the tide of sin in the country. Seventy-five percent of Liberty's debaters go on to be lawyers with an eye toward transforming society.

Remember how I said everything leads to nuclear war in a normal debate? What does it lead to for these debaters? Does everything lead to Armageddon instead? The overall point of the article isn't just that these teams are winning tournaments left and right, but that they're going into society with the aim to impact public policy:

Seventy-five percent of Liberty's debaters go on to be lawyers with an eye toward transforming society. "I think I can make an impact in the field of law on abortion and gay rights, to get back to Americans' godly heritage," says freshman debater Cole Bender.

Debating is by its very nature about extremes. You pull on one side of that rope as hard as you possibly can, while the other side tugs just as hard on their side. You pull out the big guns and fire them with gusto, as does the other side. You hope that you make a better argument than the other side, but you also hope that your gun is just a little bigger than theirs too. And so every time you debate, you look for a bigger and bigger gun to fire.

Life on the other hand is not about extremes, and public policy shouldn't be about extremes either. Policy debate in school at any level is not, at least in my estimation, is not a good preparation tool for public policy debate about real life. About the only thing it can teach you to do, is think fast on your feet.

On a slightly different note, debating in high school or college absolutely destroys your public speaking skills. I know that sounds backwards, but it took me a long time to learn how to speak in public after I stopped debating. In debate, speed is king. Some people actually go to classes to learn how to talk faster. It took me a long time to learn how to slow down when speaking in meetings, or giving speeches. To this day, when I'm a little nervous, I tend to go back into "debate mode" and speed back up again.

More Proof For Ann's Theory 

Ann Althouse has a theory which she blogs about from time to time, that any scientific studies which show a difference between men and women, must show women in a positive light. Here is another data point to help prove her theory:

For years, researchers have observed that when women are faced with periods of economic or environmental distress, the number of male babies born, in comparison to females, declines. But why this happens is not known.

Now, researchers think they have figured it out - and they say it has more to do with the promise of the future than the stressful realities of the day.
...
In 2003, he compared the number of male live birth rates in East and West German hospitals from 1946 to 1999.
...
Under normal circumstances the sex ratio should be just above or just below 100.

According to Catalano, the East German dip was the probable result of the country's 1991 economic collapse. West Germany, which didn't experience the collapse, didn't show a corresponding anomaly.
...
Researchers have long known that males tend to be weaker than females, as fetuses, embryos, children and adults. Indeed, it's not until people reach their 90s that men start outliving females, Catalano said.

It's also been shown that more male fetuses and embryos are spontaneously aborted than females. This becomes particularly apparent after six weeks of gestation.

So this is saying that men are "weaker" at all stages of life than women, and therefore more likely to be spontaneously aborted during gestation. All stages of life? Really? Where is that coming from? Imagine the outcry that would occur if anyone were to dare suggest the opposite though. It is certainly an interesting topic though. Maybe women just have a genetic disposition to giving birth to girls, and are subconsciously murdering their boy babies in utero!

In Case You're Curious 

I'm back at work after taking Thursday and Friday off because of the stomach flu. I'm not 100% yet, but am definitely trending better. And for the first time in 4 days, I'm actually smelling someone's lunch, and feeling a little hungry.

Strangely Accurate Actually 

You Are Snow

Magical yet potentially destructive You are well known as fun to play with People anticipate your arrival but then are quickly sick of you You are best known for: your serenity Your dominant state: reflecting

People anticipate your arrival, but then are quickly sick of you. What?! Alright... alright... I'll admit this might actually be kinda accurate. How a test can do that in just five questions is beyond me. Try it for yourself. Thanks to Sam for the pointer.

Google Will Rule the World 

I read somewhere once that women are much more likely to remember their dreams than men. This seems very true to me, because, sadly, I remember very few of mine. Although I know I do dream, most nights I can't remember even a sparse detail of one. The other morning however, for whatever reason (maybe partially due to stomach flu induced hysteria), I was able to remember most of one dream. I've jokingly blogged several times about how "Google will rule the world", but the other night I dreamt that they actually did.

In my dream, my wife and I had to discovered that some of the folks at Google had secretly invented Google Time during their 20% of fun time... it was a time machine. On a small side note, my wife was really hot, and pretty damn smart too as you'll later discover. This is why I wish I remembered more of my dreams.

Anyway, back to my story. I don't really remember how we discovered their time machine, nor how we gained access to the Google Time link, but we did just in time (maybe it was Slashotted). During much of the dream, my wife Natalie (which is strange since I've never even dated a Natalie, nor do I know a Natalie) and I traveled back in time after various Google henchmen, attempting to thwart their efforts at world domination through the manipulation of history.

I remember feeling very frustrated, because for every move we made to stop Google, they simply went back in time a little further and made another more diabolical move which made things worse, and gave Google more power. Totally exasperated, I finally said to Natalie, "Is this just how its going to be? Are we just going to keep going back and forth in a never ending struggle which we just can't win?!"

That's when she looked at me and smiled. "Maybe not. I have an idea" With that, we went back in time to the early days of Google, and told our earlier selves to invest in this tiny startup company. When we returned back to our time, we were on the board of Google, there was no such thing as Google Time, we were rich, and I woke up.

The only downside to the dream was we never got the chance to have sex. I guess we were a typical married couple.

Not a New Theory 

Just a new person who's talking about it:

IRAQ'S WMDs were flown to Syria in the run-up to the war, in 56 trips by two Iraq Airways Boeings that had their passenger seats removed. It's not the first time that such information are published; the new thing is who's saying it now: general George Sada, number 2 higherst official in Saddam's air force.

Of course, WMD's were just one out of a dozen reasons to go... but as a debater, you learn to try to pull through all your arguments on your flow.

Tag... I'm It 

Alright, Bev tagged me with this one... so I'll share some of the more mundane random facts about myself.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:30 am... which for me is sleeping in, as sad as that sounds.
   
2. Diamonds or Pearls? Why would I have a preference? I'm a guy. Though there is something to be said for a nice pearl necklace.
   
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? That would be Underwold: Evolution.
   
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, I'd have to say the new Battlestar Galactica on SciFi. Great writing, incredible plots, excellent acting all around, and Tricia Helfer... yum.
   
5. What did you have for breakfast? Just coffee. I've never been much of a breakfast person.
   
6. What is your middle name? I'm sorry, that's classified information. I hate my middle name.
   
7. What is your favorite cuisine? I'd have to say Italian... or Chinese... hmmm... hard to pick.
   
8. What foods do you dislike? Celery... especially if its cooked and mixed with anything.
   
9. What is your favorite Potato chip? Pringles... Once you pop, you just can't stop.
   
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? At the moment I'm really enjoying Hot Fuss by The Killers. But at the end of the day, I'll always come back to Dave Matthews Band.
    
11. What kind of car (truck) do you drive? Right now I've got a Toyota Solara... which surprised a few people.
    
12. What is your favorite sandwich? A grilled roast beef and cheddar with fried onions.
    
13. Favorite item of clothing? Anything that accentuates my ass is my favorite of course! What's with all the girly questions?
    
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I would love to go to Italy, and maybe stop in Greece.
    
15. What color is your bathroom? Blue and Beige... why is this important?
    
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I'm pretty agnostic when it comes to brands. Must be the Y chromosome.
    
17. Where would you want to retire to? I'll let you know when I get close to retirement. Who knows what the hot retirement spot will be by then.
    
18. Favorite time of day? Any time the sun is shining.
    
19. Where were you born? Goleta, CA
    
20. Favorite sport to watch on TV? Kansas City Chiefs football of course.
    
21. Who do you least expect to send this back? First I have a decide if I'm going to torture anyone with this.
    
22. Person you expect to send it back first? See above.
    
23. What type of detergent do you use? Tide.
    
24. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke... if I have to choose between the two.
    
25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I can do both equally well actually. Ahhh... youth.
    
26. What size shoe do you wear? Depends on who makes it, but its between a 12 and a 13. It's a pain in the ass to get shoes in my size.
    
27. Do you have pets? Not any more. Been thinking of getting another dog though.
    
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Hmm... nothing at the moment, but when I do... I'll blog about it... I promise.
    
29. What did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut... one of the 3 allowed fantasy jobs for young boys (along with fireman and sheriff).
    
30. Favorite candy bar? Twix! The one with the cookie crunch!
    
31. What is your best childhood memory? I seem to remember a really fun trip to Seaworld in San Diego. I can remember just not wanting to go home.
    
32. Different jobs you've had in your life? Grass cutter, silver polisher, office go-fer, network administrator, software engineer.
    
33. What color underwear are you wearing? Black boxers if you must know.
    
34. Nicknames: Nick, Scooter Bob, Summer Camp, Booness. Only a select few can use anything other than the first without causing serious bodily harm to themselves.
    
35. Piercings? I figure I have enough holes in body as it is.
    
36. Ever been to Africa? Nope. In fact, I've never been off this continent.
    
37. Ever been toilet papered? Hmmm... not that I can remember. That seems sad somehow.
    
38. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes.
    
39. Ever been in a car accident? Was in a pretty big one as a passenger, and a minor one driving, which wasn't my fault.
    
40. Croutons or bacon bits? What, I can't have both? Fine! If I have to choose, I'll go with bacon bits.
    
41. Favorite day of the week? Saturday... duh.
    
42. Favorite restaurant? I'd have to go with Elsa's. Incredibly good pork chop sandwiches.
    
43. Favorite flower? If it looks and smells nice, that's all that matters to me.
    
44. Favorite ice cream? Butter Pecan.
    
45. Disney or Warner Brothers? Warner Brothers every day of the week and twice on Saturday morning.
    
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? Sadly... McDonald's. Though I don't get a lot of fast food any more. I have to maintain my figure you know.
    
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? Grey... or is it gray?
    
48. How many times did your fail you drivers test? None! Ha ha!
    
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? Does spam count?
    
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Probably Wheel and Sprocket. Somehow I can't manage to walk out of there without spending at least $50.
    
51. What do you most often do when you are bored? I blog. Go figure.
    
52. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? I'll let you know when I see who decides to do it.
    
53. Last person you went to dinner with? My friend Nicole.
    
54. Ford or Chevy? Is there a choice C?
    
55. How many tattoos do you have? I hear those really hurt.
    
56. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I don't think eggs are mature enough to come, so I'll say the chicken.
    
57. How many people are you sending this survey to? I'm not vindictive enough to tag anyone with something this long. But if there are any masochists out there who want to volunteer to go through the list, be my guest.

Damn... there should be a law limiting how long these things can be. I'm exhausted.

Sorry For the Late Notice 

Even though I'm just telling you now... Brent got the Carnival of the Badger up early this morning. Next week will be hosted by my friend Matt over at Know What I Mean? If you want to find out more about how to submit your post, or how to host your own edition, check out the informational page.

Don't expect blogging to be real heavy tomorrow... unless my stomach somehow miraculously stops turning inside out.

A Brief Conversation With My Toilet Bowl 

Toilet Bowl: You know, a lot of women complain that guys can't seem to hit the mark when they pee.
Me: I think I do a pretty job.
Toilet Bowl: Yes you do. But Nick, you'd think that since you aim so well doing that, you could at least hit the mark throwing up.
Me: Look, projectile vomiting isn't as easy as it looks.
Toilet Bowl: I'm just saying, try a little harder next time.
Me: Listen... you better lighten up there bowl. Its coming out both ends you know. You're in for a long day.
Toilet Bowl: What did I ever do to you?

Wow 

I just received a copy of this letter from Senators McCain and Coburn which was hand delivered to every Senator:

Dear Senator __________,

As you know, the American people are currently engaged in a vigorous debate about our country’s spending priorities. Many are openly discussing the propriety of earmarks and legislative policy provisions inserted into appropriations bills at the direction of individual lawmakers. We believe that the process of earmarking undermines the confidence of the American public in Congress because the practice is not open, fair, or competitive and tends to reward the politically well-connected.

According to the Congressional Research Service, the number of earmarks has skyrocketed over the past decade, from 4,126 in 1994 to 15,268 in 2005. We are committed to doing all we can to halt this egregious earmarking practice and plan to challenge future legislative earmarks that come to the Senate floor. This will give all Senators the opportunity to learn the merits of proposed earmarked projects and affirm or reject them. Even though votes on earmarks will undoubtedly be quite time-consuming, we sincerely believe that American taxpayers are entitled to a more thorough debate and disclosure about how their money is being spent.

We also believe that it is wrong to violate Senate Rules by inserting new provisions that are not included in either a Senate or House bill into conference reports at the last minute. The unsavory practice of inserting such provisions at the last minute stifles debate and empowers well-heeled lobbyists at the expense of those who cannot afford access to power. Decisions about how taxpayer dollars are spent should not be made in the dark, behind closed doors. Therefore, we also plan to challenge future violations of Senate Rules, and, as necessary, we will offer proposals to strengthen current Senate Rules in order to increase transparency and accountability in the expenditure of taxpayer dollars.

While we know that this course of action may not be popular in Washington, D.C., we believe that it is the right thing to do. We look forward to working with you over the next year, and we hope that you will join us in a spirited debate about the direction of our country.

Sincerely,

Senator Tom Coburn, M.D.
Senator John McCain

If only McCain didn't team up with Russ Feingold to restrict every American's freedom of speech, I might just must vote for him for President. When are you going to run Coburn?

Random Thought 

If it's true that "many hands make light work", then why is it that "too many cooks spoil the broth"?

A Brief Lesson in Thermodynamics for the Employees of Noodles and Company 

First some basic facts for our lesson:

1. Pesto Cavatappi is a heated pasta dish.
   
2. Flat bread acts as insulator.
   
3. Heat rises.
   
4. Butter melts at a temperature between 90 - 95 F.
   
5. Melted butter is very messy, and tends to drip out of foil packaging all over your table and clothes.

From these basic facts, it should be easy to see, that when you have a heated pasta dish at the bottom of a bag, place a solid butter packet on top of that, and finally top it off with flat bread, the butter will be melted by the time the entire apparatus gets to its final destination.

As a small aside, it is not fun to try to explain to your coworkers why you have a creamy white stain on the front of your pants.

I'm Not Trying to Sound Like a Broken Record 

But here is yet another weekly reminder that your Carnival of the Badger submissions are due tonight for tomorrow's edition, which is over at Milwaukee's Layton Park Blogger. Information on how to submit your entry, or on how to get on the hosting list can be be found here.

Everything Causes Nuclear War 

I have another geeky confession to make. In high school, I was on the debate team. Go ahead and make jokes about me being a master debater right now if you must... I'll wait. All done? Get it out of your system? Good. Back to the topic at hand... errr... back to my original subject. Did you know how many things can cause nuclear war? Most people never realize, if they were never on a debate team.

Here's how a typical debate goes. For the entire season, there is a "resolution" that will be debated. For instance, one of my favorites when I was in high school was:

Resolved: That the federal government should guarantee comprehensive national health insurance to all United States citizens.

The Affirmative case is then set out, and has to show several things:

Plan: What are you going to do?
Harms: You have to show that the status quo is bad.
Inherency: The status quo can't solve the harms.
Topicality: Your plan falls under the resolution.
Significance: You show advantages over the status quo.
Solvency: Your plan actually solves the harms you mentioned.

The negative side will then hit you with several attacks, going after each of your stock issues, showing how you're wrong. Then they'll try to show disadvantages to your plan, which as it turns out is always nuclear war. Seriously. Nuclear war. Every time. It's amazing how easy it is to chain a few quotes from different people together in order to link anything to nuclear war.

For instance, nationalized health care will depress the economy, which will decrease oil consumption, which will lead to unrest in the middle east, which will cause nuclear war. Or another classic... nationalized health care will increase lifespans and increase the population, which will cause food shortages (known as the Malthus Theory to debaters), leading to riots and global instability, which leads to nuclear war. And remember... I was going to high school before Google became big.

I know it sounds stupid... but this is how we debated. Could nationalized health care really lead to nuclear war? I look back on what we debated now, and just laugh at how stupid it really was... but then I have to stop and wonder. People who were on the debate team are probably the type of person who becomes active in politics after high school. When you look at how extreme the base of each party has become, whenever it debates any topic... the wild accusations that are made... the dire consequences that are so easily thrown around... its really the equivalent of the debate team nuclear war argument. High school debaters have gotten into politics now, but haven't changed their tune one iota. You'd think that people like that would eventually grow up... and figure out reality. Not everything leads to nuclear war damnit!

My Midlife Crisis Car? 

Not that I'm anywhere near a midlife crisis...

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!



You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

The sad thing about the people who typically get these cars, is that they hardly ever use them to their fullest. In fact, I usually see them being driven 5 below the speed limit. It always makes me sad to see one of those being driven that way. They're meant to be driven hard, and used for what they were designed for. I call them "Midlife Crisis Cars", or sometimes "Impotence Mobiles".

H/T to Ann Althouse, who is a Porsche 911.

Update: Oooops... I forgot to include a link to the quiz.

Toilet Seat Up or Down? 

I'm with Sam on this one... leave the seat however you need it, and let the other person rearrange it for their needs. Statistically speaking though, I can understand the woman's argument for the toilet seat down. After all, women have to sit for #1 and #2, while men also sit for #2 (at least I hope you do). So... 75% of toilet operations require sitting, so the toilet seat should be down. Here is the post that started it all if you'd like to add your two cents to the discussion.

What is totally unacceptable however, is to have those fluffy, fuzzy, toilet seat covers. I don't think women understand the danger they represent. When you have those covering the seat, they almost always interfere with the toilet seat's ability to stay up. There's nothing scarier than trying to relieve yourself, only to have the toilet seat slam down like a guillotine when you least expect it. It's almost criminal.

Of course, it's also important to always flush the toilet when you're done. God bless my sister Karen, for trying to instill that habit in her sons early on. I'm surprised she didn't add, "Put the seat down" at the bottom of the sign.

Update: Had to fix a link.

Rewriting Classic Sayings 

Part of an ongoing conceptual series examining classic phrases, and how they have to change in today's society.

In today's electronic world, much of what we say to other people is actually typed, not spoken. We email, instant message, blog, etc. However, some sayings that we might want to use when communicating with these new mediums just don't have the same effect. For instance:

"You say potato, I say potato."

No matter how you pronounce it, they're both spelled the same way. So the person reading this would likely pronounce potato the same way both times in their head. Maybe we need to have an officially designated way to spell potato that everyone understands as being the "other" way of saying it. For instance, we could spell it with an 'e' at the end... like potatoe. Hmmm... on second thought, that might be considered too political. Maybe we should just call the whole thing off.

Search Phrases 

Well this is pretty cool actually. If you do an MSN Search for "nick", I'm the 6th result... on the first page. Who woulda thought I was such an important Nick in the world?

War Stories 

Matt's tales of woe from work have reminded me of some of my favorite tales of doing grunt IT work at MSOE when I was a student there. I worked two summers in the Technical Support Center, and got whored out to all the other departments when the other IT repair center was overloaded. One of the worst experiences started with this conversation:

Boss: Nick, I just got a call from the Architectural Engineering office.
Me: What now?
Boss: They think a rat died in the printer. You need to go over and check it out.
Me: Something died in the printer? Shouldn't they call animal control or something?
Boss: You need to go check it out first.
Me: Great... what did I ever do to you?

So with that... and a hardy laugh from the rest of the staff, I headed on over to the other building where the AE office was. When I got there, they had turned the printer off, but it still reeked in there. I can fully understand why they thought something died in it, because that's the first thing that came to mind. In fact, when I started opening up the printer, I had a pair of gloves on because I expected to pull a rat out. What I discovered instead were some areas that looked shorted, and later found out that someone had in fact spilled something on the printer and "forgot" to mention it. The smell was actually heated Bakelite that was used as part of the base of one of the boards, or the surrounding casing (I'm not sure which).

One of the interesting side notes on Bakelite, is that it's turned out to be quite the collectible of late. If you do an eBay search for it, you'll see all sorts of jewelry and other trinkets that were made with it in the 70's. My Uncle, who gets paid to buy and sell on eBay actually dealt with it for a while. He told me later that the way you're supposed to tell if an item is authentic Bakelite is to put it in the oven, or boil it for a short time, and see if it smells. It's that distinctive.

Random Thought 

I was just struck by a random thought...

If Sarah Michelle Gellar were to try to slay Kate Beckinsale... in a purely Vampire Slayer vs. Vampire situation of course... who do you think would win? Personally I have no clue... I just know that I'd like to watch.

What's In a Name? 

The Dilbert Blog is having fun with people's names... pretty funny stuff, go check it out. This reminds me of my cousins who live near the Wisconsin Dells. Their last name is Hooker. I usually go up there a couple times a year and visit. In fact, when I do the Devil's Challenge Triathlon, I usually stay with them. Whenever I have the chance, I enjoy throwing their name out just to mess with people...

Person: So Nick, are you getting a hotel room for the race?
Me: No, I'm staying with the Hookers.
Person: *blank stare*
Me: What?
Person: You're staying with... *cough*... hookers?
Me: No... I'm staying with my cousins.
Person: Wait, your cousins are...
Me: No... their last name is Hooker. What did you think? My cousins are prostitutes?!

Gets them every time.

Another Movie Review 

I saw Underworld: Evolution with some friends at the Marcus UltraScreen on Saturday. Instead of trying to explain the plot, discussing the cinematics, storytelling, directing, etc., I thought I'd break down the movie into simple bullets points of pros and cons for you.

First the pros:

• Random shots of large breasted female vampires topless.
  
• Kate Beckinsale.
  
• Kate Beckinsale wearing very tight leather outfits.
  
• Kate Beckinsale nude.
  
• Kate Beckinsale nude on a 75 ft x 32 ft screen.
  

Do the cons really even matter?

More on Smoking Bans 

My recent post on the smoking ban in Wauwatosa, and Elliot's comments, reminded me of a discussion I had a while a go with my friend Nicole. Speaking of which, thanks for conceding my points Elliot... its always a nice ego stroke.

First a bit of background. Nicole has the skilled nose of a blood hound, and an absolute hatred of smoking. This is no exaggeration. Right now she's a high school teacher, but I have no doubt that if she ever lost her job there, she could work for the DEA sniffing out drugs, or for airport security finding bombs. I'm not saying this to insult her. I just say this to tell you how uncanny her abilities are. I've lost count of the number of times we've been out walking somewhere... and suddenly she'll just say... "somebody was smoking here". I'll look around and see nobody... anywhere. Then I'll catch the distant, almost barely discernible whiff of something... and realize that whoever was smoking here, probably did so an hour or more ago. It's truly amazing, but I digress.

Nicole and I were going out to dinner, and happened to be behind a car where the driver was smoking. The faint but distinct odor of cigarette smoke was wafting out of his car, and through the vent of my car. As soon as the scent hit my nose, I knew what was coming next. I won't try to quote the conversation, because as I said in the beginning, it was a while ago, and I don't want to misquote her. But we hit everything from, "Why should someone be allowed to smoke in their car", to smoking bans in restaurants. Her biggest point, which in retrospect was damn honest of her, was that it annoyed her, and so why should she have to put up with it?

Of course, I quickly pointed out that big rig trucks (which are all over Racine) put out a hell of a lot more disgusting smelling exhaust than a single smoker in a car, which she had to concede. I quickly followed that up with, "Well, you don't have a right not to be annoyed", which she agreed with.

But the whole conversation put the entire smoking debate in sharp focus. For all the talk of public health, cancer, etc... it is my firm belief that the only real reason anyone wants to ban smoking in public is because it annoys them. Everything else are secondary reasons they searched for, or made up, to justify laws to stop something they just don't like. That's why for all the research into increased risks of this, or the possibility you might get that, I've never heard of a case where someone got cancer that could be linked to second hand smoke. I'm sure that if there is one, all of you will quickly correct me. I'll sit here waiting patiently.

America - F*ck Yeah! 

Thanks to Samantha Burns for the pointer.

The P's and Q's of Interviewing 

Yes... I'm providing some interviewing tips over at my other blog, The Coding Monkey.

An Innocent Conversation - Honest! 

Had a funny IM conversation with Be a few nights ago. This isn't an exact transcript... its just my recollection...

Me: Well, I'm outa here for a while.
Be: So where are you off to?
Me: I'm going over to REI to get some new nuts.
Be: New nuts?
Me: Yeah... a couple new nuts and a new beaner too.
Be: ...
Me: Nuts... used for rock climbing... that you stick in a crack... of a rock... and a carabiner. Why, what did you think I meant?

Book Stack 

The Taking by Dean Koontz: I'm a huge Dean Koontz fan... but I'm having a hard time figuring out what to say here. I thought it was an excellent book, and was a pretty fast read for me. I really couldn't put it down... quite riveting. On the other hand, the plot wasn't as in-depth and varied as many of his other books, which could be why it was such a fast read as well. Either way, I did enjoy it quite a bit... even if the ending was "easy".

I'm not sure what I'll decide to read next. I have a few books that are half read that I put down for a while. I'll probably pick one of those up and finish it off, while also enjoying more Calvin and Hobbes. You might ask why I'm bothering to finish books that I've put down for so long. Frankly its something about my nature... I just have a hard time not finishing a book, even if I ultimately decide that it sucks. I don't know why... especially since it ends up taking me twice as long to finish a book I don't like, which only prolongs the torture.

Friday Quick Hits 

Victory is Mine!: I finally guessed the Moron of the Week over at The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns... ahhh... nothing like the sweet taste of satisfaction. If you're not reading her blog on a daily basis, then you should definitely start... it's well worth your time.

Happy Trogday: It's Trogdor's 3rd Birthday (well... yesterday). Head on over to Homestar Runner and go burninate stuff.

The Dysfunctional Section of Hallmark: Head on over to the Spinster War Diaries... Linny has a great one up. I've never seen that email go around... so I had a good laugh. Most of my friends and family know that when they get a card from me, it will be from the Shoebox section. All I can say is... I want some of those cards!

A Birthday Carnival 

From Where I Sit spent his birthday hosting this week's Carnival of the Badger. Head on over, enjoy some great blogging from all around Wisconsin, and wish Elliot a happy birthday. I'm still working on getting someone to host next week's carnival, so stay tuned. In the mean time, to learn how you could host the carnival, click here.

Update: I've gotten quite a bit of interest again (relatively speaking). Milwaukee's Layton Park Blogger, Brent will be hosting next week's Carnival.

Who Do You Think Said This? 

Here is a rather strange article from Newsweek... which asks the question... When is it safe to release a terrorist? Featured prominently, and quoted with little rebuttal is a high level government official:

...identified only as "P.G.," declared his agency's "belief" that people who have joined militant "networks" linked to Al Qaeda and affiliated Islamic movements "maintain their ties, and their relationships to those networks, for very long periods of time. These ties are forged in environments where relationships mean a great deal, and it is our belief that the dedication to the ideology, if you will, is very strong, and is virtually impossible to break."

What?! He must be an agent of the evil Bushitler. What else did this torturer and warmonger say?

P.G. wrote that "Individuals who have attended terrorist training camps or who have independently opted for radical Islam must be considered threats to ... public safety for the indefinite future. It is highly unlikely that they will cast off their views on jihad and the justification for the use of violence." The paper adds that "Incarceration is certainly not a guarantee that the extremist will soften his or her attitudes over time; quite the contrary. The Service assesses that extremists will rejoin their networks upon release."

Who is this bastard? He works for the NSA, or the CIA doesn't he? He was probably groomed by that evil Dick Cheney... I can just smell it!

Actually... he's Canadian... and works for the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS).

Oh... well then... that's different. What else did these polite, well meaning, and obviously astute members of an upstanding government have to say?

As to P.G.’s wider assertions that it was unsafe to ever release a jihadi militant, Campion noted that Canada only was detaining a handful of militants under its antiterror laws. She said that there might be a qualitative difference between the Canadian detainees (whom authorities believe could be truly dangerous terrorists) versus the hundreds of detainees at Guantanamo (many of whom were rounded up with Taliban forces in Afghanistan and may not pose a serious terrorist threat ).

While the Canadian government regarded them as dangerous, there might be a qualitative difference in the relative dangers posed by the release of the suspects held by Canada and the release by the U.S. government from the Guantanamo Bay detention center of captured suspects who fought with Taliban forces in Afghanistan rather than with Al Qaeda.

In other words, its perfectly OK for us to detain terrorists indefinitely without bail, and without any sort of judicial oversight. You see, the really bad terrorists are coming to Canada to get us, not you guys.

Never mind the fact that Canada has no troops in Iraq, and all of 1250 in Afghanistan (so practically no threat). And of course, whenever an American is in Europe or the Middle East, our government tells them to say they're Canadian so they won't be hassled. You know... but besides all of that, everyone is honestly scared of Canada. That's where all the really evil terrorists go to wreak havoc... on all the moose and caribou.

Isn't it amazing how such a well rounded, and pro-government story can come out of Newsweek... as long as that government is Canadian? I wonder what Newsweek's story would look like if it was discovered that their equivalent to the NSA was intercepting international phone calls with potential terrorists.

Signs of the Apocalypse 

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria... or in this case... hamsters and snakes living together:

Hamster named Gohan, right, and snake Aochan live together in a cardboard box at Mutsugoro Okoku zoo, outskirts of Tokyo, in this January 14, 2006 photo. Gohan and Aochan make strange bedfellows: one's a 9 centimeter dwarf hamster; the other is a 120 centimeter-long (yard-long) ratsnake. Zookeepers at Tokyo's Mutsugoro Okoku zoo presented the hamster - whose name means 'meal' in Japanese - to Aochan as a tasty morsel in October, after the snake refused to eat frozen mice. But instead of indulging, Aochan decided to make friends with the furry rodent, according to keeper Kazuya Yamamoto. The pair have shared a cage since.

Either this is really sweet, and a sign that even the worst of mortal enemies can set aside their differences and live in harmony, and therefore there is hope for all of humanity as well... or the snake is just waiting for the hamster to fatten up some more like a Thanksgiving turkey. H/T to Chip Mathis

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Under Review By FEC 

This is still in the early stages, but I have just received this copy of a letter being sent to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel from an anonymous source at the FEC. It looks like they could be in some serious trouble:

Federal Election Commission
999 E Street, NW
Washington, DC 20463

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Managing Editor,

This letter is to inform you that after review by the Federal Election Commission (FEC), we have found your newspaper in gross violation of Public Law 107-155 (Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act of 2002 or McCain-Feingold Campaign Reform Act). Specifically we have found your organization violated 2 U.S.C. 434 as amended, by participating in "Electioneering Communication" during a 60 day window around a general election, and also during a 30 day window around a primary election on numerous occasions. Specifically we have found that your newspaper does not satisfy subsection B(i) which exempts broadcast stations. Clearly a newspaper does not broadcast anything, nor do your internet operations exempt you as recently ruled by the FEC Board.

What's more, your news operation seems to take great pride in its flagrant violations of this act. Examples of these violations are:
- Endorsing John Kerry for President 2 weeks before the election.
- Endorsing Russ Feingold for the Wisconsin Senate in the same time frame.
- Numerous other endorsements that are too numerous to mention.

In fact, the large number of democratic endorsements has led our investigative team to conclude that your newspaper also does not satisfy the exception for broadcast stations because "such facilities are owned or controlled by any political party, political committee, or candidate" as written in subsection B(i).

The penalty for these violations, as written in 2 U.S.C 437g(d)(1)(A) can be a fine under Title 18 U.S.C, 5 years in prison, or both. We hereby inform you that you have 30 days to respond to these charges.

We take no pleasure in the enforcement of this act against such an institution that has such a long history as yours. While some may argue that free speech, and the right of a free press is of the utmost importance, I would remind you that as you so eloquently stated, "there is a balancing act required here", and that "A democracy demands clean and transparent electioneering."

Sincerely,

Michael E. Toner
Chairman

Time is Running Out 

Get your submissions in for this week's Carnival of the Badger. They're due in tonight to make tomorrow's edition at From Where I Sit. To find out how to submit, or how to host, go here.

Carry on.

Could He Make Christians Worship the Devil Too? 

You do read The Dilbert Blog right? If not, check out this take on the Abramoff scandal:

Abramoff is alleged to have engaged in a number of complicated and shady activities involving money and politicians and gambling and whatnot. Most of the allegations aren't that interesting. But one scheme, according to Time magazine, caught my eye. They say, "eLottery – This Internet gambling firm hired Abramoff and invested some $2 million in an intricate campaign in 2000 to kill a bill that would have outlawed most online gaming. Abramoff used Christian groups to block the bill on the grounds that it didn't go far enough."

Yes, the man convinced Christian groups to support gambling. Now THAT'S what I call an effective lobbyist.

When you think about it, that would be an effective way to kill almost any bill. If the goal of our non-parliamentary system is really to generate compromise, and keep solutions in a happy middle ground (as opposed to the extremes that parliamentary systems tend to generate), then killing a bill because far left or far right groups don't think it goes far enough would be able to kill anything... well... anything except pork barrel spending from ear marks.

Of course... Christians supporting gambling isn't all that far fetched really. You have heard of Bingo Night haven't you?

You've Made Your Bed 

The Supreme Court decided the Oregon Doctor Assisted Suicide case today. In an interesting twist, the minority seems to be made up completely of justices who also dissented in Raich. Most interesting is Thomas's dissent:

I agree with limiting the applications of the CSA in a manner consistent with the principles of federalism and our constitutional structure. Raich, supra, at ___ (THOMAS, J., dissenting); cf. Whitman, supra, at 486-487 (THOMAS, J., concurring) (noting constitutional concerns with broad delegations of authority to administrative agencies). But that is now water over the dam. The relevance of such considerations was at its zenith in Raich, when we considered whether the CSA could be applied to the intrastate possession of a controlled substance consistent with the limited federal powers enumerated by the Constitution.

So basically Thomas is saying... I tried to do the right thing in an earlier case, I lost, so now I'm taking my ball and bat and I'm going home? I think the Supreme Court made the wrong decision in Raich (in other words I agree with Thomas there), and I think he should have stuck to his guns on this one as well. Thankfully Oregon won the case anyway.

Maybe this was a good thing for Thomas to do then. The case was going to go the direction he ultimately wanted anyway, and so he decided to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the consequences of precedent. This just goes to show that no matter how many Senate hearings you put someone through, you never know how they're going to decide cases.

Why Presidential Hopefuls Should Be Old 

When Presidential election time comes around, one of the things that often times comes up about each candidate is their health and age. Age can play out in many different ways. When Ronald Reagan was running for President, his age was often brought up, but he always handled it with a laugh, and diffused the issue if some thought he was too old. Quotes like these are considered classics now:

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.

Or this one...

"I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience. If I still have time, I might add that it was Seneca or it was Cicero, I don't know which, that said, 'If it was not for the elders correcting the mistakes of the young, there would be no state.'"

Sometimes I wonder if it isn't important that our presidential candidates be pretty old before they run, if for no other reason than to prevent this from happening:

Former vice president Al Gore accused President Bush of breaking the law by authorizing wiretaps on U.S. citizens without court warrants and called on Congress yesterday to reassert its oversight responsibilities on a "shameful exercise of power" by the White House.

When the other guys loses, and they're old... they simply call it quits and retire. The only thing Bob Dole did after he lost to Bill Clinton was make Viagra ads. Maybe Al should take a page from that play book.

Bad Gifts for Men 

I'm not big into gift exchanging or returning. For one, it seems kind of insulting to the giver, and two... it takes too much time an energy for me. You have to get the receipt, go to the store (which is often times one I don't like), decide on something else you want from that store you don't like, yada yada. This of course is why gift cards are so great... as long as they're to a store you really like. With that said though, there are two gifts I will almost always return... watches and wallets. I'm a one watch, one wallet sort of guy. I do own more than one watch... I have a Timex Ironman that I wear most days (replaced for the newer model every couple of years), and a very nice "dress watch" which I got as a graduation gift several years ago.

The watch and the wallet are both things that I use every single day, and many times a day. While some people may look at that fact, and say to themselves "What a great gift idea... he'll use it every day!"... stop thinking that way right now. Because I use these items every day, that means that I'm actually going to be extremely picky about what it looks like, exactly what features it has (wallets have features?), and how it feels. The sad fact, is that you'll probably pick wrong... and I hate returning things. In my life, I have only had one daily wear watch, and one wallet gift ever work out. Not that any of you were thinking of buying me anything... I just thought I'd throw it out for your collective knowledge.

In Bed... 

Have you ever played the "In bed" game with a fortune from a fortune cookie? You know the one I'm talking about... the one where you read your fortune, and then tack on "in bed" at the end. Usually it's pretty damn funny. Here is my fortune from last night:

"You will always be surrounded by true friends... in bed"

You know... I've never been the orgy type. Or will they just be standing around watching me? I'm not sure I could sleep with that many eyes on me.

Rewriting Classic Sayings 

Part of an ongoing conceptual series examining classic phrases, and how they have to change in today's society.

For some reason today, the phrase "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" came to mind. I'm not sure exactly what the etymology behind this phrase is, but it certainly comes from a time when life was a lot simpler, and there were far fewer laws and regulations that touched every aspect of our lives. So how does this phrase need to change given today's harsher political and economic climate?

"When life gives you lemons, fill out form 1035-L and attach it to your 1040-A to properly account for your added lemon income, then fill out form 1356-L to certify that any out of state lemons were properly inspected, then make lemonade, after filling out proper W-4's for any people who might help you squeeze those lemons, and having your facility properly inspected by OSHA to make sure that your lemon squeezing facilities are safe."

Of course... don't even get me started with the paperwork you need to fill out if you dare sell your lemonade somewhere.

Are You Kidding Me?! 

All I can say is, I'm glad I don't live in Virginia, where people like this somehow find a way to be elected to their legislature. Once again, we have a member of government trying to insert government regulation where it has no God damn business:

A Virginia delegate speaks out about his proposal to make it illegal for unmarried women to have babies through medical technology.

Of course... when legislators come out with bills like this... for some reason they feel the need to make even more of ass out of themselves, and make terrible comparisons to criminals or murderers, which have absolutely no bearing on the truth:

"And to say women are desperate for this, well Al Capone was desperate for money..just being desperate doesn't mean you have a right to anything period," says Delegate Bob Marshall (R, 13th district, Prince William, Loudoun).

Why stop there, isn't there a comparison to Hitler you can make? But wait... it gets even better. This esteemed gentleman from Virginia kept right on talking (much to his detriment):

Bob Marshall says single women who deliberately have children without fathers are selfish, because they're putting their needs first.

"My dad's name is donor, okay, no kid wants that. They want a relationship with a real person, someone to hold their hand," Marshall said.

Marshall says without that emotional connection, children are more prone to psychological and financial problems. But more importantly, according to Marshall, it's a child's natural right to know its father, which he says is more important than a woman's biological needs.

Sort of a catch 22 isn't it Bob? You see, if these women don't satisfy their selfish biological needs, there won't be a child whose natural rights can be violated. So what is his solution for single women who want to have a baby, according to the great and powerful Bob?

"Don't tell me that these women are desperate, well if you're desperate then get married...look go out and even...find a man," Marshall said.

This man (and I am ashamed to even call him such)... you know what... there are no polite words to describe this person. H/T to The Agitator.

Almost to the End 

I wrote this back when Roberts was in front of a Senate committee... but it still applies today. It's the Supreme Court Nomination Process for Dummies. We're at step 9 out of 10 now. Step 10 is my favorite... it means that it's martini time.

The Secret Smoking Ban 

Did you know that Wauwatosa has banned smoking in restaurants? I sure as hell didn't. It's amazing how quietly something like that can happen in the city where you live. Don't believe me? Here is the ordinance passed in 2003, which will take effect July 1^st of this year. I'm considering what I want to do about this... if there is really anything I can do except point it out to the rest of you. I'm not a smoker, but I am a firm believer in the rights of property owners to decide what can and can't occur on their property, and this is an affront to that.

Nick: On Religion 

Part of an ongoing conceptual series where I take on various deep and meaningful topics.

Do you think Jesus had a sense of humor? I bet he was one of those guys with the real subtle, dry sense of humor. You know, the guy who makes a joke that at first you don't realize he even told it, and then a minute later it hits you.

Judas: My Lord, it certainly is hot out here.
Jesus: Yes it is my son. But just wait a few years... then you will know what true heat feels like.
Judas: Will I be sent on a mission up into the deserts my Lord?
Jesus: No my son. You will definitely be down somewhere, not up.
Judas: ...
Jesus: ...
Judas: Hold on. Down somewhere?!
Jesus: Heh.
Judas: My Lord?
Jesus: ...
Judas: Jesus?! Come one now... you and me buddy.

Have you ever tried to discuss God's sense of humor with someone who is pretty religious? They almost always take offense at the mere suggestion, as if its somehow disrespectful. Why is that? Laughter is one of our greatest gifts... one of our greatest qualities. After all... if God gave his only son such important gifts as unconditional love, and forgiveness... then why not humor and laughter? If there is a God... he sure as hell has to have a sense of humor. How else do you explain me?

I Get Spam 

And a lot of it. Luckily... GMail does a damn good job of catching the vast majority of it. But, just in case, every now and then I do go into the spam folder to make sure something that's not spam didn't inadvertently find its way in there. As I was scrolling through the subject lines of all the emails in that folder, I saw this one and had to chuckle:

"Viagra Soft Tabs as low as $3.86"

Viagra... soft tabs? Isn't Viagra supposed to... you know... have the opposite effect?

Maybe you should rethink your marketing campaign.

Reader Mail 

Every now and then I like to take the opportunity to answer mail I receive from my loyal readers, or write something specifically at the request of one of you. So here is the latest edition here for everyone's enjoyment...





This concludes today's edition of "Reader Mail".

Nick: On Self Examination 

Part of a new conceptual series where I take on various deep and meaningful topics.

A long time ago I remember asking myself a question that really dug deep into my soul, and caused me to examine myself very closely for some time. Now as I look back on that time of introspection and self examination, I can no longer remember what the question was. Now I'm starting to wonder... is your soul like a pool of water, that if left uncovered for too long will begin to evaporate and disappear? Is my soul just not as deep anymore because I spent too much time with it uncovered while I examined it, and that's why I can't remember the question?

I know that the Catholic Church has quite the racket going with Holy Water... but I wonder... is there a place where I can get Soul Water? Is that what blues music is all about?

Rewriting Classic Sayings 

There are some phrases that we all know, and are deeply ingrained in our society. They're the classics, that are used and acknowledged with almost no forethought. But as times have changed, and our beliefs have evolved... one has to wonder if some of these sayings aren't in need of a little retuning. For instance, if you aren't religious... can you really ever use the classic Shakespeare: "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players." After all, if the world is a stage, and we are merely players, doesn't that imply that there is a writer?

So with that in mind, might I suggest the following updated version of that classic:

"All the world is an improv, And all the men and woman are the troupers."

Granted, it lacks Shakespeare's knack for iambic pentameter... but it's just another random thought that popped into my head today.

A Congressional Jury 

Now here's an interesting idea... from TCS Daily:

Charles Madigan, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, recently asked his readers to send in suggestions for a new Newt Gingrich-style Contract with America. He was looking for ideas for changes in our political business-as-usual, changes that would improve the performance of the federal government. The resulting column was published last Sunday.
...
My suggestion was for an amendment to the Constitution: Members of the House of Representatives shall be chosen each two years by lot from among the adult citizens of each congressional district.

Like the author of the article... I'm having a hard time coming up with any cons for this idea. Granted it would be difficult for those who are chosen, since they'd have to give up their jobs for a couple years... but really... it would be no different than someone in the National Guard who is called to service.

Couldn't See the Galaxy for the Stars 

I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase "Can't See the Forest for the Trees". Well, astronomers have just discovered that they couldn't see the galaxy for the stars:

A huge but very faint structure, containing hundreds of thousands of stars spread over an area nearly 5,000 times the size of a full moon, has been discovered and mapped by astronomers of the Sloan Digital Sky Survey (SDSS-II).

At an estimated distance of 30,000 light years (10 kiloparsecs) from Earth, the structure lies well within the confines of the Milky Way Galaxy. However, it does not follow any of Milky Way's three main components: a flattened disk of stars in which the sun resides, a bulge of stars at the center of the Galaxy and an extended, roughly spherical, stellar halo. Instead, the researchers believe that the most likely interpretation of the new structure is a dwarf galaxy that is merging into the Milky Way.
...
"Some of the stars in this Milky Way companion have been seen with telescopes for centuries,'" explained Princeton University graduate student Mario Juric, principal author of the findings describing what may well be our closest galactic neighbor. "But because the galaxy is so close, its stars are spread over a huge swath of the sky, and they always used to be lost in the sea of more numerous Milky Way stars. This galaxy is so big, we couldn't see it before."

This sort of stuff always fascinates me... and there's been a lot of news lately in this regard. Matt's been talking about it recently too. For a while, I had been reading a lot about cosmology, string theory, and advanced physics... but recently I've just been reading little news articles here and there. I can only understand so much of it... but some of the stuff that we're figuring out is just amazing. Of course, by "we"... I mean the royal we... as I couldn't figure out any of this stuff. My knowledge of mathematics starts to break down once you get past the numbers 0 and 1.

That's Just Cool 

This thing is damn cool! It's a Wi-Fi enabled picture frame. You can email pictures to it, plug in your CF or SD card into it, or you can have it automatically display pictures from a Flickr RSS Feed. I think its a bit pricey at $250... but damn I think I want one.

A Carnival With a View 

This week's Carnival of the Badger is up Right Off the Shore... so head on over, and get your feet wet reading some great writing from all around Wisconsin. Next week's edition is going to be hosted by From Where I Sit. If you'd like more information on how to get your posts included in the carnival, or how to host... head on over here for more information.

I Wonder If You Could Make That? 

I just had a Palermo's Primo Thin Ultra-Thin Pizza... and when they say ultra thin... they mean it. It's almost like eating pizza on a cracker. In fact, I think that if they could somehow make a pizza with absolutely no crust, where the cheese and toppings somehow wouldn't fall through the oven grate... they probably would try. What would they call that?

You Know You're a Geek When... 

You are suddenly forced to stop because you've come to a traffic jam... you hit your steering wheel in frustration and exclaim... "Frack!".

It's That Time of The Week Again 

If you haven't already sent in your post for this week's Carnival of the Badger, then it's time to get crackin. Submission are due tonight. This week's edition is over at Right Off the Shore. Remember, it doesn't have to be political... just submit your best work from this last week! And if you're interested in hosting... be sure to shoot me an email.

Oh How I Love Tracking Numbers 

There are two things which I do greatly enjoy... tracking numbers... and complete collections. And as it turns out... when you buy complete collections of things over the internet, they get shipped with tracking numbers! Currently, I have two items winding their way to my doorstep:

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes: I bought it using Barnes & Noble because Amazon was out, and wasn't expecting to ship for several months... plus I have a Barnes & Noble membership, so I got 10% off which brought the price right in line with Amazon. I love Calvin & Hobbes. In fact, everyone on my instant messenger list knows how much I love Calvin and Hobbes because I use Stupendous Man as my avatar (and also Spaceman Spiff from time to time). I also have a cool rendition of Hobbes that someone did with him watching TV with a martini as my desktop wallpaper.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection: I confessed my admiration for the show some time ago... and now I'm going all the way with it. I'm outright buying the complete collection on DVD. Look down on me if you must... and maybe I've lost some of your respect (if I had any of it to begin with)... but if you think I'm alone... just know that there are a lot of smart people who share this secret obsession.

Update: Well... I got the Calvin and Hobbes collection today... and damn is that heavy! I'm sure glad I got free shipping with that.

Did I Just Say That? 

Have you ever just had one of those mornings? Allow me to paint the picture.

This morning when I was getting ready for work... I went through my typical routine. Shave, shower, brush teeth, put in contacts... then I pulled clothes out of the closet and got dressed. I was fully clothed, sitting on the end of the bed and putting my shoes on. I pulled on the ends of the laces to tie them when all of a sudden... snap. The laces on my nice pair of black shoes broke.

Then I looked over at my pair of brown shoes with intact laces and said to myself, "Great, now I have to change because this doesn't go with those shoes." Then, after I changed into something that matched my other shoes, I had to search for my testicles.

It goes without saying that I was late to work this morning.

It's Official... I'm Worthless 

I've been nominated for several weblog awards over my blogging career (even if I've never won one). I've started a fairly popular regional blog carnival. I'm linked by numerous bloggers, both popular and not so popular. I have a decent standing in the TTLB Ecosystem. I even like to think that my writing is interesting, funny, and maybe even thought provoking. But then I see stuff like this, and it just makes me wonder:



Either it's a bug... or I need to start taking the hint.

I See The Changes 

Jim Widgerson has a rather controversial post up talking about how he's going to avoid Milwaukee's north side from now on for fear of being shot. Apparently he's also taking some flack for it. First I'll say that I won't blame him for his feelings... they're his and nobody else's. I just don't agree with them. Also... since when does Bluemound road constitute the city's north side?

Part of the problem here I think is who you talk to. Having just finished the Thanksgiving/Christmas gauntlet, I was of course confronted with the usual "good ole days" tales of my mom, aunt and uncle who grew up in the "bad parts of town" before they were bad. They tend to recycle certain conversations over and over again... so much so that I've started numbering them. My theory is that it would be a lot faster for them to just say "Conversation #5", instead of actually going through the effort of talking about the same old thing again. But I digress. One of their favorites is when they talk about how they used to walk down this street or that in the middle of the night to go someplace when they were young (when dinosaurs roamed the Earth), and that now they wouldn't even drive down that street in the middle of the day. They're fascinating tales the first time you hear them... but I always end up shaking my head when they're done.

I've lived in the suburbs of Milwaukee for more than 15 years now... but I've also either gone to school or worked in various parts of downtown for more than 10 years. I've driven through a lot of Milwaukee in those 10 years. I've never really been afraid to drive through the "bad parts of town"... which means over the years I've also seen things change. It's easy to read the paper and hear the awful stories of different shootings and say... well I'm not going there. I think its important to note too that the overall crime rate in the city has gone down. In fact, crime has gone down in every category except murder. I think this is important to note... because most murders are directed crimes. You get killed in Milwaukee for a specific reason... not just because you're a cracker driving down the street. And if the statistics are right... you're much less likely to get robbed because you're a cracker driving down the street now than before. It's terrible that murder hasn't followed the rest of the crime statistics... but it also accounts for a rather small number of total crimes... even if they are the most high profile.

If you're like me... and you're not afraid to drive through "the bad parts"... you've probably noticed the same changes I have. There's new construction here and there. One block of North Ave. that was blighted last year has been replaced by new stores with fewer bars on the windows this year. I see newer cars driving down the street... and fewer junkers that have no fear cutting you off. Granted its not the dramatic change everyone wants... but it is a gradual shift in the right direction... and I hope its a sign of even more dramatic improvements in other parts of life there. Are things wonderful? Well no. But are they the dismal killing zone that everyone seems to want to talk about? Well... no. Is there more to be done? Absolutely. Will I still drive through those same streets? No problem.

WTFWJD? 

What The F*ck Would Jesus Do? If you've ever asked yourself that question... in that way... then Going Jesus is for you. This isn't your momma's Christian blog. She has t-shirts available too.

Duh 

Although computerized learning is all the rage these days... I'm not surprised one bit by this study:

INTERACTIVE computers used in British schools to teach children to read are harming their learning, research shows.

Specially designed software is increasingly replacing traditional teaching in the classroom as part of the Government's £1.7 million ($4 million) push to integrate computers into all lessons.

Parents have also bought into the enthusiasm for technology, spending millions on educational computer games for their young.

However, research published in the journal Education 3 to 13 has found that pupils who use interactive programs cannot remember stories they have just read because they are distracted by cartoons and sound effects.

Describing some software as "more entertainment than education", the researchers have warned teachers and parents not to abandon simple storytelling and reading books to young children.

Hell... I've seen the effects that laptops can have in classrooms, when the students are in college. Even there its a bad idea. When I was a junior at MSOE, they were just starting a program for freshmen where they were forced to buy laptops as part of tuition. They took those laptops everywhere, and to every class. That freshman class reportedly had the worst class wide GPA in the history of the school. Professors started telling their students not to bring their laptops to class. And those were college students... just imagine the effect on grade school kids. I write software for a living, and even I know that computers can't replace everything. Heck, maybe I'm in a better position than most people to realize exactly what a computer can't do.

More Felony Foolishness 

A student in Ohio has been arrested for telling people to go to his school's homepage and refresh it (registration required... click here for help):

The incident occurred Dec. 2. Using a school computer, Stone created a blog on a Web site that encouraged others to use a link to another site. Once at the second site, Stone told users to "hold down F5 to help crash my school server," according to police reports.

Forchione said school officials noticed that Lake High's computer system was slowing down and called a technician who discovered the problem and its source.

School officials contacted Uniontown police, who investigated the case and turned over information to Forchione’s office.

Forchione said he filed charges because students need to know that officials will be aggressive when dealing with computer crime.

They can pass a law against that? By all accounts, he didn't actually do the refreshing himself (or they have no proof of it)... he mearly suggested others do it. And this is no secret attack either... its actually pretty low brow.

I'm guessing that all those Iraq War protesters who are suggesting that soldiers kill their officers, and that George Bush be assassinated will be arrested next? Let's get some perspective people.

Comment Trolls are Criminals 

No... seriously... the are:

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.

This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.

"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."

Buried deep in the new law is Sec. 113, an innocuously titled bit called "Preventing Cyberstalking." It rewrites existing telephone harassment law to prohibit anyone from using the Internet "without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy."

Here is the Whitehouse Press Release on this idiotic law. And of course... this is all in the name of protecting women from more... violence... over the internet? So if let's say... oh I don't know... blast Ann Althouse for being an out there Beatles Fan anonymously on her blog... then I could be breaking the law? And here is the relevant text of the actual law:

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

I find this law annoying... can I throw Congress in jail for two years?

Update: Well... things may not be as dire as they first seemed. Check out this post at the Volokh Conspiracy for more details. Basically... the law only applies when the speech wouldn't normally be protected by the 1^st Amendment... and is most likely meant to extend the telephone harassment statutes to VOIP.

Update II: And here's another post from The Volokh Conspiracy (from Eugene this time) that's not nearly as encouraging. Although the intent of the law may very well have been to simply extend existing telephone harassment law to VOIP... the way it was written could be much more broadly interpreted.

My Party Persona 

Jane Galt recently made the following comment about conversations by certain professionals at parties:

I like drinking with economists, because they're funny. When I go drinking with, say, physicists, I usually end up mired in rants about string theory, which is tough on me because it makes my already limited pool of brains start rattling around in my otherwise empty skull. When I go drinking with economists, on the other hand, they start ranting about how the rest of the world treats them. The most common version of the complaint was summed up by one economist of my acquaintance who said: "You know, I never offer opinions on gall bladder surgery, chemical synthesis, or drawing up a will, but doctors, chemists, and lawyers - and everyone else - all think they know how to do my job better than I do."

My problem, as someone in the computer industry, was never having people telling me how to do my job... but rather having people instantly asking me to do my job. A typical conversation might go like:

Person: So Nick... what do you do anyway?
Me: I'm a computer engineer.
Person: Really?! You know... my computer keeps doing this really strange thing...

Mine is not the only profession that has this problem. I've heard of doctors being asked to look at rashes at a party... or someone I know who is a mechanic who has been asked to diagnose a car problem only from a drunk man's impression of the noise his engine was making. That's why I have my party persona.... which I use when I'm at a gathering of people who I mostly don't know. I thought it might be fun to share with you some random facts about my other self:

• I'm an out of work actor. You probably haven't seen me in anything since I do mostly "regional work".
  
• When I'm not acting, I'm a waiter at a downtown restaurant... or sometimes a place out near Waukesha... wherever I figure the majority of people at the party wouldn't go.
  
• Somehow over time I also developed a knowledge of fine wines. I have no idea why I thought this was cool.
  
• Oh yeah... I have a trust fund. So why do I wait tables? It helps keep me "grounded", and closer to the "common man". Apparently that's important to actors.

I know... I know. It seems strange... maybe even wrong somehow... but nobody ever asks an out of work actor how to fix their computer at a party.

Carnival of the Badger - Cold and Flu Season Edition 

Normally I'd spend extra time being creative... coming up with fun quips and related links to everyone's posts... but I'm still feeling pretty out of it... and am kind hopped up on cold medicine. So this should be interesting.

Thank you for viewing this week's Carnival of the Badger. For English... please press one. Para Español, presione dos por favor. To find out how to get a real live person when you call a toll free number, go to Subject to Change.

The 7 Deadly Sins is previewing some of week 17's NFL games in a show of sloth. Previewing? Isn't the regular season over now? Well I suppose it is... but now you can go back and see how close he came to getting it right.

After you've seen how the games were predicted to go, you can go to Leaning Blue who was at the Packer vs. Seahawks game, and has pictures to boot.

Whoa... did you just see that... or am I imagining things? Who knew something so big could dance so well. Weird.

Speaking of elephants in a room... Mike over at Cooler Near the Lake has another installment in his debate for a gay marriage ban. In this installment he's responding to comments about his earlier posts on the subject.

The American Mind is talking about the brutal beating of Samuel McClain... and how its making him rethink his stance on the drug war. Of course legalizing drugs will never happen in this country. Hell... we're getting closer to a total ban on smoking... and we seem to be creeping closer and closer to prohibition again.

The Xoff files delves even deeper into the matter with a good roundup of blogger reactions to this tragic story. For once I actually agree with Xoff when he says he's holding off on articulating an opinion of what to do about it. And to be more than honest... I don't think there's anything "we" can do. And by "we" of course... I mean those of us who don't live where this happened. For as much as we want to effect change there... that change has to be wanted... and initiated by those most affected. As the old saying goes... you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. But if those involved are interesting in tasting the water, From Where I Sit has some ideas to consider.

Holy cow! Get it off me! Get it off me! Wait... where did it go? Damn... did you see the teeth on that thing?

While Time decided to devote its "Person of the Year" cover to three people who donate millions of dollars every year to charitable causes... Texas Hold 'Em Blogger is talking about BET's choice for Man of Year... Louis Farrakhan. Who were you expecting them to name... Bill Cosby?

And while the Milwaukee Journal seems to have no issue with dead people voting, or with dozens of voters having their legal residence in an empty lot... they seem to be asking an awful lot of questions about Scott Newcomer's living situation when voted according to Badger Blogger. Don't worry though... Patrick has the entire story.

On this, the 12th day of Christmas, The Happy Circumstance is rounding up some charitable giving news from our elected representatives. And if you're interested in some ways you can help brighten someone's day, might I suggest a donation to the USO towards a care package to our troops. $25 will send a bunch of goodies worth about $90 to someone who is helping preserve democracy far away from home.

Speaking of Christmas (and colds)... did you ever wonder if Rudolph's red nose was caused by blowing his nose a lot because he was congested? I only say this because I didn't need fog lights to get into work the last couple of days... my nose was doing fine leading the way.

Jim over at Widgerson Library & Pub is staying clear of Milwaukee's North Side... for good it would seem. Personally I have no fear when it comes to driving around Milwaukee. Some of the recent stories are pretty scare... but when it comes right down to the percentages... the odds are pretty good you'll make it out alive. I think its something akin to seeing an airline crash and thinking how dangerous flying is, when in reality it's safer than driving. It's just that when something bad does happen, it makes a big media splash.

And finally, Spring City Chronicle has a wrap up of the candidate for Waukesha mayor, and his list of important issues. It's good to concentrate on these mayoral elections. When Wauwatosa last voted for mayor... it was a coin flip between two people we never heard of... and now I can't even remember who I voted for.

Well that about wraps up this week's edition. So far I have no volunteer's for next week's Carnival... so I'm still deciding what I want to do. It might just be time for a week off, unless you're ready and willing to participate. It's not that hard, and you'll get some nice exposure to your blog. The next scheduled carnival will be on the 19th over at From Where I Sit.

Hope everyone had a happy and safe New Year!

Update: Jenna over at Right Off The Shore has graciously volunteered to host next week's Carnival.

Update II: Quietly replaced one post from someone with another. Note to submitters... double check your URL before you hit send. You never know when you'll be sending in a post about darts to a carnival.

When Public Advocacy Goes Wrong 

Chalk up another moron point to Ralph Nader for unilaterally deciding that people with otherwise untreatable Narcolepsy should not be allowed to decide whether the risk of liver cancer is worthwhile given that they could otherwise have a normal functioning life on the drug:

Narcolepsy Network Inc., announced to its members today that Abbott Laboratories will cease production of Cylert, a medication used by an estimated 10,000 Americans afflicted with the sleep disorders of narcolepsy and idiopathic hypersomnia. In an untreated state, both of these disorders are characterized by excessive sleepiness and sleep attacks during the day. At the same time, Public Citizen's Health Research Group, on behalf of individuals with ADHD, has petitioned the FDA to ban Cylert and its generic equivalent, Pemoline, due to risks associated with this medication.

And there is this more personal story:

Cylert (generic name "pemoline") has been the most effective treatment for Teresa's narcolepsy in 24 years since she was first diagnosed. She's been taking it for most of that time. Now it's gone.

We discovered this when we tried to refill her standard prescription, just before Christmas, and the pharmacy didn't have any—and, after some confusion, reported back that the wholesaler didn't have any either, because (surprise!) it's no longer being made.

Cylert has been implicated in some people's liver problems. Teresa is regularly tested and her liver is fine. Evidently Abbott, makers of brand-name Cylert, discontinued it in March—but Sandoz intended to keep making the generic version, until the FDA, pressured by Nader’s group, weighed in to discontinue it entirely—despite a last-minute appeal from the Narcolepsy Network. Thank you, Public Citizen, for completely shafting my wife.

H/T to Asymmetrical Information who is just as disgusted as I am. Of course, the people who push for these outright bans are ironically usually the same ones who push for a "woman's right to choose". Isn't interesting that they think a person's ability to consult with their doctor and weigh the pros and cons of medical decisions seems so limited?

These people need to get a serious reality check. There is rarely, if ever, such a thing as a cure that has not side effects. Period. The fact that these people think that any product that has even the smallest flaw should be outright banned is truly astounding. They live in a dream world. Every day, people have to way the benefits and consequences of all sorts of things, and have the right to do so for themselves.