Nice to Meet You 

As I sit here typing this... I'm wondering whether I really ought to share this. So at some point in time this post my disappear as I say to myself - what were you thinking?

I'm probably a pretty typical guy in that I don't go to the doctor regularly. I didn't go a few years ago when I got socked with the flu for four days, even though my company required it since I was out for more than three days. I knew what I had, and I knew I was getting better, and I know how to take care of myself when I have the flu. Why do I need to go to a doctor just to tell me that? I didn't go to the doctor before I started my weight loss regime. What was he going to tell me that I didn't already know? Eat less, exercise more. Don't starve yourself... because 1-2 pounds per week is what is safe to lose. In fact its probably been about 10 years since I'd last been really looked over by a doctor... until last Friday. To follow are some interesting medical details and experiences I've gone through recently. If this sort of thing bothers you... Avert your eyes now.

For the last couple of months I've been using my cycling trainer about 3 times a week for about an hour or more at a shot. It's been really good, and hopefully it will pay off for my first race in June. But then towards the end of last week, I started to have a pain... down there. And this wasn't the usual... "bike saddle hit something" sort of pain which I got rid of when I bought a new saddle. On Thursday my leg was hurting some, and I just finally said to myself - "You need to get this checked out."

So I went on Friday to a doctor. He takes my blood pressure, which was elevated. No shit. My balls hurt and I'm nervous... Wouldn't your blood pressure be elevated? He checks for a hernia. You'd think that with all the diagnostic equipment available today, that there would be a better way for them to check for that besides sticking a finger against your crotch and having you cough. No hernia. Check for any lumps or abnormalities (which I had also done myself)... Nada. So he tells me I probably just pulled something slightly... probably overextended on the bike. However, he'd like to do some blood work and get and EKG(cause it's been 10 years since I've seen a doctor), and also schedule and ultrasound of my testicles.

So Tuesday morning I go in to have everything done. First they take some blood... no problem... needless never bothered me. Then in for the EKG. I'm laying on the table with my shirt off as the technician starts applying the stickers to my skin. Suddenly I feel two quick swipes on my chest. I look down to see her holding a razor... and see two bare spots. What the? "Sorry, needed to shave that. You weren't planning to go to the beach later were you?" Now I have two spots on my chest with no hair, and it itches like hell. You couldn't at least use a little shaving cream? Other than that, EKG was no problem.

Finally, they walk me into the ultrasound room. I get all dressed up in one of their paper gowns and then... "This is Tina, she'll be your technician." I lay up on the table and suddenly they lower the lights really low. I'm sure it was to help make me more comfortable, and to make it easier to read the ultrasound monitor... but really it seemed like mood lighting. Then comes the gel. Two thoughts immediately come to mind... Damn that's cold... And apply any more gel and I think I'm gonna slide right off this table. All I could think to say was "Nice to meet you."

Having never had an ultrasound on any part of my body before, I was actually expecting it to vibrate a little. Really you don't feel much of anything, except the wand moving around. Then she says "Don't move or breathe." She was checking the blood flow and had to take pictures for the doctor. The blood vessels down there are incredibly small, and its hard to keep them centered for the pictures. It is cool to hear the blood flowing and your heart beating though. Anyway... the whole experience lasted about half an hour and ended without any problems. Although, after having a woman spend that sort of concentrated time down there, I felt like I needed to at least buy her breakfast. She laughed and declined.

Oh... and in case you're wondering... the boys are feeling much better.