This Is Not From The Onion 

It's from BBC News... honest:

A West Yorkshire hospital has banned visitors from cooing at new-born babies over fears their human rights are being breached and to reduce infection.

A statement from Calderdale Royal Hospital in Halifax said staff had held an advice session to highlight the need for respect and dignity for patients.

On one ward there is a doll featuring the message: "What makes you think I want to be looked at?"

But Labour MP Linda Riordan said the measures were "bureaucracy gone mad".
...
Some new mothers have already said they are astonished by the rules which stop people asking questions about their babies or looking at them in maternity wards.

Debbie Lawson, neo-natal manager at the hospital's special care baby unit, said: "Cooing should be a thing of the past because these are little people with the same rights as you or me.

Upon hearing this news, President Bush immediately asked if interrogators at Guantanamo Bay Cuba were cooing at prisoners there. The guards said that they had been, but now that they know that it is violates their human rights, they will immediately stop. Lawyers for the US Government are investigating whether cooing is allowed under the Geneva Conventions. H/T to Tongue Tied.